Brett Favre

Today, Jeremy and I realized that we are going to the beach tomorrow with our youth group, and Jeremy didn't have a swim suit. So, we went to Target, hoping we could still find some cheap swim suits on sale. We did not, however, so we headed over to the mall. And what did I see upon entering the mall courtyard? A sports store, with the main display of nothing less than a #4 Vikings jersey. Brett Favre is a Viking. It's official.

Oh man.

I've avoided talking about this until now. But, my friends, today is your lucky day.

I have always been a Packer fan. I admit, in my early years, I was probably a stronger Packer fan on days when they played the Bears, but as I've grown older my love has grown stronger. And, much to the joy of my mother, I got my husband into "American football" and, what's more, the Green Bay Packers. When I was little, I wrote countless letters to the Packers, and even received autographed pictures of various players, including Brett Favre and Reggie White - my favorites - which I still have to this very day. And, as has every Packer fan, I quickly learned that the Minnesota Vikings are the football equivalent to vampires. Or pond scum. Or Nazis. (Yes, I went there.)

So, Brett Favre, were you not aware, after 16 seasons as a Packer, what it would do to your loving fans to become a Viking? Really? Did you really think this would be okay?

First, you retire, Brett Favre. Then, you want to come back. So, like a lonely ex-boyfriend, we embraced you again and welcomed you into our lives. Then, you retired again. And came back. And retired. And came back. Finally, when we simply couldn't handle this on-again-off-again relationship any longer, you became a Jet. This was okay. Generally speaking, we did not wish you harm. We wished you the best, even thought maybe we could still be friends one day, but we couldn't allow you to keep throwing our lives into upheaval. We had to move on. So, we chose Aaron Rodgers.

And then, Brett Favre, you retired again. We felt a wave of relief, thinking this finally brought closure. It was weird to see you in that different shade of green, but at least it wasn't purple. We began to look past the Brett Favre of the past, and towards a bright future with Aaron Rodgers.

And then, it happened, Brett Favre. You made the switch to the Dark Side. You became a Viking. A Viking! And now I have to look at your stupid #4 purple jersey in the sports stores in my malls.

All respect, all good will, is gone. We no longer wish you peace, success. We wish you fatigue. We wish you losses. We wish you a crappy defense and an even worse offense. Some of us even wish you injuries (although I, personally, am on the fence on this one...you were, after all, a big part of my life...)

I think you did it on purpose. There's no way you didn't know what this would do to us, after 16 years of being a Packer. I think this was out of spite. But you have to understand, Brett Favre, we had to move on. You said you didn't love us anymore, so we found someone else who did.

And now, Brett Favre, we have one of the top 5 quarterbacks in the league. That's right. What are you ranked, Brett Favre? Old. That's what. And guess what? You play my Packers on October 5. The day before my birthday. And I can't wait to wake up on my birthday with the satisfaction that we beat you and your stinking Vikings. Bring it, Brett Favre. You're going down.